Don’t Call it a Comeback!



Damn you Joe Jonas! Here I am, 27 years old, attempting to suppress my high school Jonas Brothers obsession only to be revisited by your angelic voice and lyrical genius! I swear, once you guys “broke up” I thought to myself, “Well Caitlin, I suppose it’s time to grow up, just as these fine gents have.” Shit. Look at what my room looked like up until I was 19. It was legit wallpapered in the faces of you 3 and Miley Cyrus. (My parents said having girls on your walls made you look like a lesbian, I said that wasn’t true. Joke was on all of us.) I was brutally obsessed.

I mean honestly.  Joe, my dude, you did your thing, and flopped. Kevin went on and was the only successful purity ring wearing, settling down kind of guy you all claimed to be. Nick, you sexy mother fucker, blew up. I mean, come on. He is essentially the only reason you guys even were a famous band. Nick is totally the Justin Timberlake of the Jonas Brothers.

I totally pined over Nick. For years. He may have been the youngest and younger than me, but mama always had a thing for some thick, long, fucking curls. His musical talent. A panty melter for sure. Even a song about bacon – if that doesn’t make you an National Treasure and a 7th World Wonder than what will? Like God damn Nick, toss in a vagina and you were my dream girl!


Anywho, here I sit, about a year ago and some bullshit song “Cake by the Ocean” is all over the radio. I was proud of you Joe! As a former obsessed fan, I know this is what you wanted – fame and glory. The song was shit. Based on a misinterpreted order when you requested “sex on the beach” at a bar.

Fast forward to summer 2017 and I hear “Truthfully” on a Spotify playlist I downloaded. I started playing the song on repeat until I knew all the words. Then I’m all, “This voice sounds familiar.” And here you are Mr. Jonas. I’m prouder of this one because I actually like this song. Applying it to my life and relationships.

Flash forward yet again to about a month ago. I hear “One Chance to Dance” on yet another Spotify playlist I downloaded. Obsessed. Literally obsessed. The sound of the sitar just made me so happy. I’ve been having some tough times lately and even though the lyrics are average, the sound of this song just makes me smile. It’s like whenever I’m feeling down, a Jonas is there to pick me up.

The lyrics are somewhat applicable to me. At least the new me. Or maybe the me that I’m aspiring to be?

It’s funny how music works. I listen to this song for hours straight because it gives me the feeling of joy. So thank you Joe Motherfucking Jonas. You’ve somehow brought me out of some mentally dark places. I always knew you were a good egg.

Once Chance to Dance Video



Sidenote, I really should stop writing when I’m drinking heavily. I hope this shit was legible y’all. Deuces!